Personality Disorders Foundation Bibliography: Books for Individuals and Families

The following resources on personality disorders include books geared more for individuals with personality disorders, their families, and other professionals (e.g., law enforcement agents, attorneys). This portion of the bibliography was compiled by the former Personality Disorders Foundation.

Books for Individuals with Personality Disorders, their Families, and other Professionals

Antony, M.M., & Swinson, R.P. (2000). The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven Techniques for Overcoming Your Fears. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Social anxiety disorder ranges from the performance anxiety that terrifies someone when they are scheduled to appear in front of an audience, to the shyness that leads to withdrawal from contact at a casual social event. This workbook provides an intensive, self-directed program that helps you to conquer your fears, feel confident about new relationships, and live a life no longer controlled by fear and anxiety.

Berent, J., & Lemley, A. (1994). Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Bieling, P.J., & Antony, M.A. (Foreword by Aaron Beck, MD) (2003). Ending the Depression Cycle: A Step-by-Step Guide for Preventing Relapse. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

These psychologists discuss the use of meditation, thought-monitoring strategies, and various clinical options to help prevent relapses.

Black, J., & Enns, G. (1998). Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

The authors discuss various limit-setting problems and strategies to establish more effective boundaries.

Black, D.W., & Lindon Larson, C. (1999). Bad Boys, Bad Men: Confronting Antisocial Personality Disorder. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Bockian, N.R., Porr, V., & Villagran, N.E. (2002). New Hope for People with Borderline Personality Disorder: Your Friendly, Authoritative Guide to the Latest in Traditional and Complementary Solutions. Roseville, CA: Prima Publishing (a division of Random House).

This book empowers readers to take control of their condition, and to take a more active role in their treatment. It provides information on the causes, symptoms and patterns of behavior of borderline personality disorder, plus advice on how to manage symptoms and side effects. It also discusses new treatments (including natural therapies), and describes lifestyle modifications that can help reduce the impact of the disorder. Appendix B includes information on self-help books, videos, and web sites. Side bars and summary boxes are also available.

Brinkman, R., & Kirschner, R. (1994). Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring out the Best in People at Their Worst. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, Inc.

This book will help the reader discover how difficult people (e.g., those who act like bullies, whiners, tyrants, know-it-alls) think, what they fear, and why they act like they do, and provides the reader with skills to turn conflict into cooperation.

Brown, N. (2003). Loving the Self-Absorbed: How to Create a More Satisfying Relationship with a Narcissistic Partner. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

This book helps the reader to: 1) identify different types of destructive narcissism, and how to recognize their effects on his/her relationship; 2) create and maintain personal boundaries; 3) avoid inadvertent enabling of the partner's self-obsessive behavior; and 4) to gain the separation needed to love the narcissist for who he/she is.

Brown, N. (2002). Working with the Self-Absorbed: How to Handle Narcissistic Personalities on the Job. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Dr. Brown provides strategies for managing the destructive behaviors of narcissistic coworkers, and for getting the credit your work deserves.

Brown, N. (2001). Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

This book helps the reader to identify parents' destructive patterns, and to help him/her improve self-confidence and deal with negative feelings.

Bourne, E.J. (2001). The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (3rd Ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. Dr. Bourne describes treatment strategies for various anxiety disorders, and also reviews the use of medications and nutritional supplements.

Bourne, E.J. (2001). Beyond Anxiety and Phobia: A Step-by-Step Guide to Lifetime Recovery. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

This guide explores alternative therapies and offers suggestions to help the reader enlarge his/her view of life. The impact of perfectionism and other personality issues also are discussed.

Carter, L., & Minirth, F. The Choosing to Forgive Workbook. Newburgh, NY: Courage to Change Publications.

This workbook helps the reader to increase his/her ability to forgive by learning to establish appropriate boundaries, balancing forgiveness and anger, managing and communicating his/her anger, and forgiving for the right reasons.

Cavel, T.A. Working with Parents of Aggressive Children: A Practitioner's Guide. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Caviola, A.A., & Lavender, N.J. (2000). Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Ciarrocchi, J.W. (1995). The Doubting Disease: Help for Scrupulosity and Religious Compulsions. Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press.

Ellis, T.E., & Newman, C.F. (1996). Choosing to Live: How to Defeat Suicide Through Cognitive Therapy. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

This self-help guide is geared for those individuals considering suicide. The authors describe a step-by-step program to help one replace negative beliefs, feel better through coping, and to develop alternative problem-solving skills.

Davenport, G.M., & Weatherspoon, P. (1999). Working with Toxic Older Adults: A Guide to Coping with Difficult Elders. New York, NY: Springer Publishing Co.

This book helps professionals, paraprofessionals, and family members understand and manage some of the challenging behaviors of difficult elders.

Eddy, W., & Roe, M. (Contributor). Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist. Milwaukee, WI: Eggshell Press.

The following description is based on a description found at BPD Central ( Mr. Eddy, a licensed clinical social worker and certified family law specialist, geared this book for individuals facing a high-conflict divorce, whether or not your spouse meets the criteria for Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The discussions of what to expect in family court, and what to do to protect yourself and your children, can be helpful to a variety of people (your attorney, your therapist, your family, etc.).

Engel, B. (2002). The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing. New York, NY: John Wiley and Sons, Inc.

Enright, R.D. (2002). Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

This self-help book is geared for people who have been deeply hurt by another person, and are experiencing much anger, depression, and resentment. It describes how forgiveness can reduce anxiety and depression, while increasing self-esteem and hopefulness toward one's future. It also demonstrates how forgiveness can benefit the forgiver more than the forgiven.

Fast, J.A., & Preston, J.D. (2003). Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Fristad, M.A., & Goldberg Arnold, J.S. (2004). Raising a Moody Child: How to Cope with Depression and Bipolar Disorder. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

These authors educate and empower parents of children with bipolar disorder.

Fusco, G.M., & Freeman, A. (2002). Borderline Personality Disorder: A Patient's Guide to Taking Control. New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Co.

This patient's guide offers the individual with BPD concrete, specific, and useful information to help him/her better control his/her thoughts, feelings, and actions. A CD-ROM is included.

Greenleaf, V.C.G. (2002). Fighting the Good Fight: One Family's Struggle against Adolescent Alcoholism. Fort Bragg, CA: Cypress House.

Hare, R.D. (1998). Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of Psychopaths Among Us. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

This book, which serves as a supplemental text in psychopathology courses, presents findings from experimental psychology and cognitive psychophysiology to examine the nature of psychopathy, its salient characteristics, and its effects on society. It provides information and advice for any one seeking to understand, evaluate, or rehabilitate these dangerous men and women.

Heller, L.M. (1999). Life at the Border: Understanding and Recovering from the Borderline Personality Disorder. Okeechobee, FL: Dyslimbia Press, Inc.

Hope, D.A., Heimberg, R.G., Juster, H.R., & Turk, C.L. (2000). Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach Client Workbook. San Antonio, TX: Harcourt Assessment, Inc. (previously known as the Psychological Corporation, at

This client workbook describes treatment techniques found to be effective in clinical studies. Exposure, cognitive reframing, relaxation, and medication information is provided.

Hotchkiss, S. & Masterton, J.F. (Foreword) (2002). Why Is It Always About You? Saving Yourself From the Narcissists in Your Life. The Free Press, location unavailable; contact to order book.

This book describes what Ms. Hotchkiss calls the seven deadly sins of narcissism: shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, envy, entitlement, exploitation and bad boundaries. It presents an understanding of the role parenting and culture play in its creation, and explores the dynamics of the narcissistic personality. The book also discusses why people get drawn into the sphere of the narcissist, and what you can do to break free. The author recommends that, before disentangling yourself from someone else's narcissism, you will need to examine your own vulnerabilities and come to terms with shame.

Kreger, R., & Shirley, J.P. (Contributor) (2002). The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living with Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Kreger provides step-by-step suggestions to help the reader cope with someone in his/her life who has BPD. It helps the reader handle negative feelings and transform his/her assumptions about the person with BPD. The reader will learn how to set and enforce personal limits, cope with putdowns and rage, develop a safety plan, and make realistic decisions. Worksheets, checklists, and exercises are included.

Kreger, R., & Williams, K.A. (1999). Love and Loathing: Protecting Your Mental Health and Legal Rights When Your Partner has Borderline Personality Disorder. Milwaukee, WI: Eggshells Press.

The following description is from BPD Central ( This book is geared for individuals in romantic relationships in which one of the partners has BPD. Kreger and Williams discuss how to survive the romantic emotional roller coaster ride, how it affects children, and how to decide what to do; legal experts explain how to deal with the legal issues often involved in divorce, such as child custody battles, false accusations, and restraining orders.

Kreisman, J.J., & Straus, H. (1991). I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality. New York, NY: Avon Books.

Kubany, E., McCraig, M., & Laconsay, J.R. (2004). Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence: A Workbook for Women. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Lawson, C.A. (2000). Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson, Inc.

Levenkron, S. (1999). Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation. New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Co.

The author explains self-mutilation, tells the reader where to get help, and discusses skills for dealing with the affliction.

Lynch, J.R. (2004). When Anger Scares You: How to Overcome Your Fear of Conflict and Learn to Express Your Anger in Healthy Ways. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Psychologist John Lynch geared this book for individuals who tend to shy away from their angry feelings and potentially anger-provoking situations. Dr. Lynch helps the reader learn to separate anger from rage or fear, and to express anexchanges expressing anger toward their respective therapists at some point in the session. Variety was sought in both the type of psycheir diagnostic significance, and show how to relate the findings to the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-IV. (59-min. VHS, FFH 6565, Films for the Humanities & Sciences)

(1990).Double Trouble: Recovering from Chemical Dependency and Mental Health Disorders: Part 2 - Chemical Dependency and Personality Disorders.

The audience for this videotape includes patients and families in treatment. This tape follows a chemically dependent man with Antisocial Personality Disorder, and an alcohol dependent woman with Borderline Personality Disorder (28 minutes, Connecticut Clearinghouse, Plainville, CT; see web site below).

Enright, R.D., & Fitzgibbons, R.P. (2004). Forgiveness.

This video is part of the American Psychological Association's Psfor the family and friends of those who have BPD, this guide is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects personal limits, and helps them to enforce boundaries, communicate more effectively, cope with self-destructive behavior, and take care of themselves.

McKay, M., & Rogers, P. (2000). The Anger Control Workbook. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Unlike models that begin by combating anger-triggering thoughts at low anger levels, this workbook describes an approach that allows the reader to begin anger management at a higher level, so that fewer steps are involved.

McKay, M., Rogers, P., & McKay, J. (2003). When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within. (2nd Edition). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

This book helps the reader change habitual, anger-generating thoughts and develop healthier, more effective ways of meeting his/her needs.

McKay, M., Paleg, K., Fanning, P., and Landis, D. (1996). When Anger Hurts your Kids: A Parents Guide. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

These authors note that how you express your anger toward your children affects how compliant they are, how much concern they show for others, and how accepting they are of themselves. This book, based on a 2-year study of 285 parents, offers exercises that will help the reader monitor and change harmful responses,

McQuaid, J.R., & Carmona, P.E. (2004). Peaceful Mind: Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Psychology to Overcome Depression. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Miklowitz, D.J. (2002). The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

This practical guide can help individuals with bipolar disorder, and their families.

Moskovitz, R. (2001). Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder (2nd Edition). New York, NY: Taylor Trade Publishing Co.

Nay, W.R. (2003). Taking Charge of Anger: How to Resolve Conflict, Sustain Relationships, and Express Yourself without Losing Control. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

This book helps readers master sarcasm, passive-aggression, cold anger, hostility, and aggression. Using cognitive-behavioral techniques, Dr. Nay helps readers determine when and why their anger becomes a problem, and how to switch gears before it escalates out of control.

Oldham, J.M., & Morris, L.B. (1995). The New Personality Self-Portrait: Why You Think, Work, Love and Act the Way You Do. New York, NY: Bantam Dell Publishing Group/Random House.

Paxton, L. (1999). Borderline and Beyond: A Program of Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Cape Canaveral, FL: Bally Web, Inc. (It's probably easiest to order this book from Laura Paxton's web site - see the PDF "links" page).

Pennebaker, J.W. (2004). Writing to Heal: A Guided Journal for Recovering from Trauma and Emotional Upheaval. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Roth, K., & Friedman, F.B. (2003). Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

This book presents a step-by-step guide to help adult children of parents with Borderline Personality Disorder recover from the ill effects of being raised by a parent with this disorder. Specific coping strategies are presented to help the reader deal with low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity.

Santoro, J., & Cohen, R. (1997). The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders: An Interactive Self-Help Guide. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

This self help guide uses a variety of exercises and step-by-step techniques to help individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder and addictive disorders address their destructive lifestyle and take steps to break out of its dysfunctional cycle of self-defeating thoughts and behavior.

Siever, L.J., & Frucht, W. (1997). The New View of Self: How Genes and Neurotransmitters Shape Your Mind, Your Personality, and Your Mental Health. Diane Publishing Co. - see

Simon, R.I. (1999). Bad Men Do What Good Men Dream: A Forensic Psychiatrist illuminates the Darker Side of Human Behavior. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press, Inc.

This book provides insights into the minds of rapists, stalkers, serial killers, psychopaths, professional exploiters, etc.

Spradlin, S.E. (2003). Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

The author describes how dialectical behavior therapy (a blend of cognitive behavioral therapy, Zen Buddhism, and existential philosophy) can help reduce significant emotional distress.

Stein, M.B., & Walker, J. (2001). Triumph over Shyness: Conquering Shyness and Social Anxiety. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Professional Publishing Group.

Strong, M. (1998). A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain. New York, NY: Viking Press.

Sutton, J. (1999). Healing the Hurt Within: Understand and Relieve the Suffering behind Self-Destructive Behavior. Oxford, England: Pathways, How to Books, Ltd. (This book might most easily be obtained by ordering it through your local bookstore).

Thornton, M.F., Barley, W.D., & Peterson, E.W. (Contributors) (1997). Eclipses: Behind the Borderline Personality Disorder. Madison, AL: Monte Sano Publishing.

Vaknin, S., & Rangelovska, L. (Ed.) (1999). Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited (with diskette). Skopje, Macedonia: Narcissus Publications.

Walker, A., & Gunderson, J.G. (Contributor) (2001). The Courtship Dance of the Borderline. Lincoln, NE: Writer's Showcase.

Wetzler, S. (1993). Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Winkler, K., & Kreger, R. (1999). Hope for Parents: Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter without Sacrificing your Family or Yourself. Milwaukee, WI: Eggshell Press (see


This page was last reviewed by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Thursday, 14 October 2021.